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Zolton's Facebook Pranks on Sexist Companies

I originally wrote this piece for, for use on the late, great comedy site Text and images published here with permission.

I'm a huge fan of equal rights for the sexes. I say what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

(I don't actually know which kind of bird is which gender, or whether that's even what the saying is about, really. Maybe ganders were oppressed back in geese colonial times, or not allowed to vote or something? The point is: equality.)

Women have it tough, what with the menstruating and the pooping out children and fending off Charlie Sheen. But it's no picnic for us guys, either. We work ourselves ragged making up new sports statistics and ducking prostate exams and becoming politicians so we can form wild and outlandish ideas about what you gals should do with your bodies.

Frankly, I'd say it's about even.

So when I notice a company sneakily appealing to only women or exclusively men, do I sit idly by, waiting for SuperGenderNeutralPerson to fly in and save the day? No. I log into Facebook.

I'm here to open your eyes to the blatant (and the not exactly so much blatant, really) sexism being perpetrated by some of our favorite companies. Read on for the scandalous truth -- and for my actual posts on the companies' Facebook walls. Meanwhile, I'll be over here, burning my underpants in protest.

Or maybe a goose. I am really not sure how this thing is supposed to work.


The post:


The post:


The post:


The post:

Last week, Zolton crunched a buncha with Cape Cod Chips, Kettle Chips, Ruffles and Pringles. Want to join in the prank? Click the links to see each real-life Facebook post, and comment or 'Like' them to generate more buzz. Or visit Zolton's own Facebook page!

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