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Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA
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I think my current favorite TV ad has to be the one for Dannon Frusion. It's some sort of yogurt/fruity thing.
(Yeah, yeah, I know -- yogurt is 'fruity' enough, already. And, considering the commercial isn't on during football games and porn movies, it's a little 'fruity' that I even know about it. So I watch Food Network occasionally. I'm comfortable with my manliness, dammit. Shaddup.)
Anyway, apparently the brain trust at Dannon has dreamed up putting fruit into yogurt. Or yogurt into a milkshake. Or berries into styrofoam goo -- look, I can't be bothered with product details here. I'm more interested in the commercial.
If you haven't seen it -- well, you're in luck, because it's online here. And hey, bonus -- there's a little Flash game there where you can beat the living shit out of a bowl of cereal. I was just saying, the other day:
'How is it that we can put a man on the moon, and find a way to shrink Anna Nicole's fat ass, and we're blessed with seventeen kinds of caramel coffee drinks... but if I want to punch a bowl of Raisin Bran in the nose, I'm out of luck?'
So, finally we can take out our frustrations on our breakfast food. Truly, these are magical times in which we live.
Anyway, back to the commercial. If you still haven't seen it -- and you're too lazy to watch it now -- basically, it's just this large, cheery black guy in a suit asking people to trade their breakfasts for a bottle of this Frusion nonsense. And, since it's Dannon's ad, the people always hand over their food, and love the yogurty slop, and Dannon rakes in the dough, and everybody's happy.
But see, I'm not buying it. You can't just stand on a street corner, handing out that gloppy fruity beaver spit to people on their way to work, and expect everyone play along. I'm thinking there's gotta be some outtakes they're not showing us. I've been thinking about it a lot, actually. And I think they might go something like this:
The commuter lady, Charlie? That's me... minus the lady part. Substitute for , add a cup of black elixer of life (aka coffee), and you got me. I know I would personally embed that frusion crap somewhere it is best not to say if they wanted to "trade" me! Ha Ha! :)
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I think I know the commuter lady... I'm glad I wasn't drinking my coffee yet--I still haven't fully paid for this damn computer! :^D