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Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA
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I ate a candy bar today, for the first time in a long while. But I'm not sure I did it right.
I realized, after I got the thing out of the vending machine, that I have no idea which candy slogan goes with which tasty sweet. So I didn't know whether the thing was supposed to 'really satisfy', or 'melt in my mouth, not in my hands', or 'give me a break', or what. So I'm pretty sure I ate it wrong. I had no idea what the hell I was doing.
I have the same problem with beer -- I'm always 'living the high life' when I'm supposed to be 'heading for the mountains', or thinking 'life beckons' when I'm actually feeling 'true blue'. Or 'Wooo-wahhhh-hooooo!'-ing when I should be... well, not 'Wooo-wahhh-hoooo!'-ing, I suppose. Does everything have to be so damned confusing? Can't I just... I don't know -- can't I just 'have it my way'?
Oh, poop. I give up. I'm gonna grab some water. And I mean tap water, dammit. 'What it means to be from Maine' -- *pffffbbbbtttttt*!
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Which reminds me that Propel is the "water as active as you are", for me that means that they sell stagnant water. I don't know why this slogan just doesn't appeal to me.