Is This What They Call a 'Life Lesson'? [Where the Hell Was I?]

July 26, 2004

Is This What They Call a 'Life Lesson'?

You know, for someone who has a pine tree in the front yard -- as I do -- it's perhaps not surprising that I've noticed how much a pine cone lying on the sidewalk looks like an enormous dog turd.

But you'd think that I'd also put 'turd and turd' together, and realize that the inverse is also true -- if you're not paying close attention, then an oversized spaniel steamer on the pavement can closely resemble a pine cone.

I suppose what I'm saying is... maybe it's best to just not haul off and kick anything that's lying on the sidewalk in front of the house. No matter how entertaining it seems, or how much the object looks like a pine cone.

Yes. I think I'm sold. In retrospect, that would be the best possibility. No kicking on the sidewalk. I think I'll not forget that for a long, long time. Now, does anyone know where I can get a new pair of sneakers? And perhaps a replacement sock, while we're at it. Maybe a hose? Can I get a hose over here, please? Ick.