At Least It Wasn't Celine Dion... Er, Um, I Mean... Nothing. Nothing! [Where the Hell Was I?]

December 10, 2003

At Least It Wasn't Celine Dion... Er, Um, I Mean... Nothing. Nothing!

Is there anything more embarrassing than being caught singing in your car?

Well... yeah. Theoretically, at least.

Theoretically -- this is purely theoretically, you understand? -- you could get caught singing at the top of your lungs in the car.

When you're belting out lines from your Hole 'Celebrity Skin' CD as loud as you can, in a high falsetto voice.

(Did I mention that this is completely theoretical?)

Being caught by a big hairy, moustached, Italian-looking guy driving a plumbing service truck, while you're stopped side by side at a red light.

(That's a hypothetical red light, of course.)

Just as you get to the line 'When I wake up, in my makeup' from the title track, and look over to see Mr. Plumberman smirking at you, and elbowing his buddy in the passenger seat.

(This is so hypothetical, people. So very, very hypothetical.)

And then having the truck right in front of you for the next eight blocks, and seeing both guys checking you out in their mirrors, trying to see if you're still singing. And, of course, you are. You have no shame. Hypothetical shame, that is.

Yeah. That would definitely be more embarrassing. I mean, I imagine it would be... hypothetically speaking. Yeah.

On a completely unrelated topic, I'm gonna go home early today, drink myself stupider, and hide my head under the bed covers. No reason. I just thought I'd mention it. What?