Fiction, Flashed

August 8, 2012

(Two updates before the nonsense today:

First off, my wife scored Green Monster seats for us this week. That’s baseball. And thus, a piece over at Bugs & Cranks: A Cook-y Monster.

And then! It’s time for the latest ZuG romp, Zolton’s Facebook Follies: The Crass Menagerie. It’s a whole zooful of fun.)

Now, since I’ve clearly been busy writing this week, I’ll keep it short here. I’ve hooked up with a fledgling sketch comedy group — yes, another one, shaddup — and we’re in the process of writing and editing — and soon, filming — a number of skits. Including a few first seen here in these virtual pages.

So I say, why buck a good system? I’ve got a quick script idea I’ve been asked to work on, so I’ll sort it out below. When our new group finally unveils the video — the assuredly award-winning video — you can say you saw it here first.

And then you can watch all the other hilarious clips we’ll have. Don’t worry. I’ll tell you when and where to look for it. You won’t have to do any of the work; just lie there and laugh. Meanwhile:

Flash!

[Open on KARL, JEN and VIC standing side-by-side on a small outdoor stage. Karl is wearing a long trenchcoat, Jen is in short shorts and a cutoff tee, and Vic has on nothing but a pink bathrobe.]

[The camera pans around behind the trio to show three judges sitting at a judging table, and a small crowd in lawn chairs clapping politely behind them. One judge raises a hand to quiet the crowd, then motions to Karl.]

[From behind, we see Karl take a step forward. He clears his throat, throws open his trenchcoat, and says dramatically:]

KARL: It was a dark and stormy night!

[The crowd applauds politely; the judges nod and make notes. Karl steps back, and Jen steps forward. Still from behind, we see her lift her top and proclaim:]

JEN: Call me Ishmael!

[Polite applause again, and one hooting jerk who gets stared down by the judges and literary crowd around him. Jen steps back and Vic steps forward. Also from behind, we see him drop his bathrobe and assume an ‘acting pose’, emoting:]

VIC: It was the… BEST of times. It was… the WORST of times!

[Vic puts his bathrobe back on as the crowd goes wild. The judges stand, clearly declaring Vic the winner. The camera pans around behind the judges to show a smiling Vic and dejected Jen and Karl, panning up to reveal the sign hanging over the stage: “FLASHER FICTION CONTEST”]

[The crowd continues clapping. As we fade out, one of the judges rips open his — or her? — dress shirt, flashing the stage in appreciation. FIN.]