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Less Is More… Lucrative

Here’s another outlet for you comedy fans jonesing for your yuks: DailyComedy offers a host of ‘staff comedians’, daily and weekly emails, and a boatload of other amusing-to-uproarious features.

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They even let no-name schmoes like me sign up and create a ‘Comedy Stage‘, wherein I can post tidbits and snippets for a rainy day. Many of my bits so far have appeared here first, but every once in a while, a ‘quickie’ seems to fit the format over there a bit better. For instance:

“My wife bought me a watch last week. It’s one of those kinetic jobs — it winds itself just by moving it around while you wear it.

I thought it was pretty cool, until I found out it keeps time faster the more you move it. Turns out my wife was just trying to keep tabs on whether I’m secretly masturbating while she’s at work.

I just checked it, and the watch is already an hour fast. Also, it thinks its November. In the year 2048.

Somehow, I’ve got to convince her I’m suddenly epileptic, or I’m in big trouble.”

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Also, I’m proud to say that I’ve just been awarded Third Place in DailyComedy‘s August Photo Caption Contest. So for at least a month, I can pretend that there are only two people funnier than I am. Also, there’s cash involved — third place in this quipping contest nets a cool fifty bucks.

That means that in ten words and thirty seconds, I earned more cash with my writing ‘skills’ than in the three-plus years I’ve been dropping essay-length drivel on the rest of the interweb. I’m sure there’s a lesson in all of this somewhere, but I choose not to see it. If you can’t spend thirty-eight paragraphs saying nothing about a topic, then what the hell’s the point?