Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Bookmark
 FeedBurnerEmailTwitterFacebookAmazon
Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA



All Quotes
HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail

  |  

Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

Snow Business

Up top, I’d like to direct your attention to a new Braves post over at Bugs & Cranks:

All Quiet on the Grapefruit Front — It’s quiet in Braves’ camp. Too quiet.

And now, on with the show.


There are times when I still act like a kid. Like most waking moments, for instance. Just ask my wife. And usually, acting like a kid is fun.

But not today.

“Work, school — it’s all the same thing, really. You get up early, schlep your way there, spend all day having people tell you things you don’t understand, have lunch, get yelled at for sleeping at your desk, and go home.”

Last night, I heard there was a snowstorm headed our way. We might get six inches of the white stuff, maybe even eight. The flakes were due to start drifting overnight, which meant Friday morning would dawn on a glistening white sheet of beautiful fallen snow.

For ‘real‘ adults, that’s a downer. A snowstorm means digging out your car, and shoveling your steps, and salting the sidewalks, and trudging around in clunky wet boots. I’ve got the same issues now, too, of course. But snow still means to me what it meant when I was a twelve-year-old boy:

NO SCHOOL TOMORROW!

Or in this case, work. Work, school — it’s all the same thing, really. You get up early, schlep your way there, spend all day having people tell you things you don’t understand, have lunch, get yelled at for sleeping at your desk, and go home. That’s just about every weekday I’ve spent between the ages of six and thirty-six. The wheel just keeps on spinning.

But one thing that can stop that wheel, besides weekends and delicious vacation days — is snow. And I’ll gladly trade an hour or two of shovelling for a full morning in my jammies and an afternoon nap on my couch. So I was positively giddy last night, with the prospect of a late-winter blizzard coming to brighten my March. I even sang ‘The Snow Song’:

Snow, snow, snow, snow —

If it comes, I won’t go.

I tell you, it better show —

Snooooooooow!!

(No, it’s not fricking Gershwin. I wrote it when I was nine. Cut me some damned slack.)

So I went to sleep — when I calmed down enough to go to sleep — looking forward to a wintry start to a spectacular three-day weekend. I woke up early, pounced out of bed, and sprang to the window to find….

Nothing. Not one damned snowflake. The whitest thing in front of me was my reflection in the window. The kid in me curled into a fetal ball and threw a temper tantrum. Either that, or I had heartburn from last night’s hot wings. Whichever it was, I was pissed. But I had to go to work. Just like any other stupid day.

So I grumbled through a shower. I groused while I got dressed, bitched through breakfast, and carped all the way to the car. I slumped into the driver’s seat, turned the key, and as I pulled out of th edriveway, I watched a single, lonely flake drift out of the sky and flutter onto the windshield. Then another. And another.

It snowed all the way to work. When I went to lunch, it was snowing sideways. When I left for the evening it was falling thick and heavy, like white globs of goose guano hurtling towards earth. The ride back home was long, icy, and treacherous. And when I arrived at my house, I found the six-to-eight inches I was expecting on my sidewalks and street — not conveniently keeping me from getting out to the office, but now preventing me from getting back in.

I dug my way to the house. The child inside me kicked me in the nuts. And now, I hate snow just as much as any grown-up, shovel-toting, dead-inside adult. Damn those meteorologists for getting a guy’s hopes up.

Permalink  |  No Comments



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Highlights
Me on Film 'n' Stage:
  Drinkstorm Studios


Me on Science (silly):
  Secondhand SCIENCE


Me on Science (real):
  Meta Science News


Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon


Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Features
Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Cliche-O-Matic
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

Favorites
Banterist
...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
DeJENNerate
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Mitchieville
PCPPP
Scaryduck
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
TGNP
Unlikely Explanations

Archives
Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers
100Things
A Doofus Is Me
Articles 'n' Zines
Audience Participation
Awkward Conversations
Bits About Blogging
Bitter Old Man Rants
Blasts from My Past
Cars 'n' Drivers
Dog Drivel
Eek!Cards
Foodstuff Fluff
Fun with Words!
Googlicious!
Grooming Gaffes
Just Life
Loopy Lists
Making Fun of Jerks
Marketing Weenies
Married and a Moron
Miscellaneous Nonsense
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig
Sleep, and Lack Thereof
Standup
Tales from the Stage
Tasty Beverages
The Happy Homeowner
TV & Movies & Games, O My!
Uncategorized
Vacations 'n' Holidays
Weird for the Sake of Weird
Whither the Weather
Wicked Pissah Bahstan
Wide World o' Sports
Work, Work, Work
Zug

Heroes
Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Grover
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Plugs, Shameless
100 Best Humor Blogs | Healthy Moms Magazine

Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass

TopOfBlogs

HumorSource

Blogging Fusion Blog Directory

bloglovin

Top Blogs

 

Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner

[Subscribe]

RDF
RSS 2.0
Atom
Credits
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:
MovableType

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Mint Installation

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-15 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved