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Go, Pats… and Pass the Brewskis

So, the Super Bowl is coming up, eh? Sunday, Sunday, Suuuuundayyyy!

Man, the people here in New England have their tummies in a tizzy over this game. They’re chomping at the bit to see the action — the thrilling hits, the rambling runs, the throws… the titillating wardrobe malfunctions. People are even deprogramming their TiVos, so they don’t miss the commercials. Crazy.

Me, I’m excited, too. I’m a transplant here — like a swollen, angry liver swapped into the body of a small, innocent child. Except Boston’s not all that ‘innocent’, really. And I’m not that swollen. It’s not much of an analogy, really, except for the ‘liver’ part. But you get the idea.

Anyway, the point is, I didn’t grow up cheering for the Patriots. But I’ve been here for five and a half years, so whatever’s in the water has started to sink in, and now I find myself cheering along with everyone else. Besides, they won’t give me beer if I don’t — so what choice do I have, really?

Now, you might call me a ‘fair-weather fan’ because of this — not true, I say. For one thing, if you’ve ever been to New England during football season, then you know how ridiculous that sounds — ‘fair‘ weather? We get three feet of snow a day — if we had ‘fair-weather fans’, we wouldn’t fill up the mens’ room, much less the damned stadium. On the other hand, it sure would shorten those beer lines. So I’m all for it.

More to the ‘fair-weather’ point, though — now that I’ve made up my mind to root, root, root for the home team, I’m going all the way. I know the players’ jersey numbers, I watch all the games — I do everything short of ogling their high-definition fat asses on TV.

(That’s the wife’s department. I give her one job. And still, she won’t leer at the linemen. I suppose that is a lot to ask, really. Joe Andruzzi is two tons o’ fun, all by his lonesome. Chunkay!)

So, I’m on board this weekend. I’ll find a Super Bowl party to go to, I’ll scream like an idiot for the Pats, and that’ll get me beer. And maybe some nachos. And a cookie. And that’s a good game right there. Woot.