Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Bookmark
 FeedBurnerEmailTwitterFacebookAmazon
Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA



All Quotes
HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail

  |  

Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

A Desktop in Winter

My computer is dying.

Luckily for me, I bought a shiny new laptop a few weeks ago. So I won’t be left completely in the lurch when the desktop machine finally gives up the motherboard. That doesn’t make it any easier.

“I’m not sure Cartoon Network video clips and a Hello Kitty screensaver qualify as ‘essential software’.”

First, there’s the noise. It’s not just a loud noise; it’s frankly a little bit disturbing. I’ve had cranky fans and drives and power supplies before. Usually, when one of those goes south, it sounds like a motorboat, or an airplane taking off. This sounds more like a yodelling cow being fed through a wood chipper.

Not that I’d know what that sounds like, exactly. For one thing, it’s very difficult to train a cow to yodel. I’m just saying.

Meanwhile, I’m a little afraid to use the machine. Or for that matter, to walk into the room. The thing sounds possessed — who knows when it’ll decide to shoot a CD-ROM at me, or strangle me with a ribbon cable?

(To be fair, the ribbon cable is only three feet long. The computer couldn’t possibly choke me with that, though it might be cute to watch it try.

Those CDs could hurt, though. I saw Maximum Overdrive; I don’t trust that hunk of mooing metal as far as I could heave it. It’s been wanting to get its transistors on me ever since I put that cheap RAM into it to save some cash.

I should have realized something was up when the chips were labeled ‘memoree‘. I guess Play-Skool isn’t as reliable an electronics brand as I was led to believe. That’s the last time I take computer advice from Elmo.)

Anyway, I suppose it’s time to get all of my important files off the old girl before it’s too late. Now, if only I had important files. I’m not sure Cartoon Network video clips and a Hello Kitty screensaver qualify as ‘essential software’.

(I mean, um, I’m not sure Madden NFL and hard rock MP3s qualify. That’s it.

Oh, and porn. Lots and lots of porn. Yeah, that’s what I meant.

Whew. That was close.)

All I’m hoping now is that the damned computer lasts through the holidays. I can’t very well treat myself to a new computer for Christmas, when I’m supposed to be shopping for other people. Especially when everybody in my family’s getting a five-dollar bill and a bag of chips this year. I can defend that when I’m getting miserable crappy gifts, too. But if I buy a new computer, too, then I’m a Scrooge, not a Grinch.

And I like being a Grinch. I’ve got the dog already, and frankly, I’m allergic to ghosts. And poor children with crutches. And eighteenth-century England.

So that loud creaky box in the office will just have to limp along for another couple of weeks. That’s all there is to it. And when it’s finally appropriate and socially acceptable, I’ll replace the clunky thing.

I’m thinking December twenty-sixth. Say, ten a.m.? It’s a date.

Permalink  |  1 Comment



One Response to “A Desktop in Winter”

  1. Kate says:

    Why do you need to replace the machine if you have a laptop? And as far as backing up yer “porn”, as an IT professional, all I can say is “Back it up!!! Please, for the love of data! Before you blame an IT professional for not being able to retrieve data from a corrupt drive!” I don’t care if you have to be scroogey and buy an external HDD, but get that back up done. You don’t want to spend thousands at drive savers if your hard drive goes completely.

    Good luck!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Highlights
Me on Film 'n' Stage:
  Drinkstorm Studios


Me on Science (silly):
  Secondhand SCIENCE


Me on Science (real):
  Meta Science News


Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon


Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Features
Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Cliche-O-Matic
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

Favorites
Banterist
...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
DeJENNerate
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Mitchieville
PCPPP
Scaryduck
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
TGNP
Unlikely Explanations

Archives
Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers
100Things
A Doofus Is Me
Articles 'n' Zines
Audience Participation
Awkward Conversations
Bits About Blogging
Bitter Old Man Rants
Blasts from My Past
Cars 'n' Drivers
Dog Drivel
Eek!Cards
Foodstuff Fluff
Fun with Words!
Googlicious!
Grooming Gaffes
Just Life
Loopy Lists
Making Fun of Jerks
Marketing Weenies
Married and a Moron
Miscellaneous Nonsense
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig
Sleep, and Lack Thereof
Standup
Tales from the Stage
Tasty Beverages
The Happy Homeowner
TV & Movies & Games, O My!
Uncategorized
Vacations 'n' Holidays
Weird for the Sake of Weird
Whither the Weather
Wicked Pissah Bahstan
Wide World o' Sports
Work, Work, Work
Zug

Heroes
Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Grover
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Plugs, Shameless
100 Best Humor Blogs | Healthy Moms Magazine

Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass

TopOfBlogs

HumorSource

Blogging Fusion Blog Directory

bloglovin

Top Blogs

 

Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner

[Subscribe]

RDF
RSS 2.0
Atom
Credits
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:
MovableType

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Mint Installation

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-15 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved