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AboutIt

Where the Hell Is This, Anyway?

(Ed Note: This is an archived ‘about’ page, written in late 2003 and thoroughly out of date. Please see instead the current About Charlie and Where the Hell Was I? page. Thankies.)

This blog came into the world, crying and kicking, on June 17th, 2003. I was sitting at my desk at home — where I’m am right now, as a matter of fact — avoiding going into the office to face the workday. The first post was born at 10:23am, if that tells you how good a job I was doing in my avoidance. Within a month, I was laid off. (Oddly enough, not for being chronically late. Or apathetic. Or even for using company resources to write pointless drivel on a faraway web site.)

But the blog continues to live, and grow, and blossom. (And it’s starting to grow hair in some really weird places. I think it’s a hormonal thing of some kind. Just try not to mention it. Blogs can be very sensitive.)

A lot has happened in the four-plus months since then. (Though I’m still avoiding work, as if the timestamp on this entry doesn’t tell you that.)

The name of the blog changed in it’s first hour of infancy.

(The original name was the ‘Sitdown Standup Experience‘; read the very first post for the explanation. And remember the name; it might be a trivia question someday if anybody ever reads this crap.)

After a while, I ditched the stock Blogger template I was using and found a more unique look.

(Though people now tell me this looks like Wil Wheaton’s site. Eh. Could be worse. Fuck it.)

I spammed a lot of blog directories, begging people to come take a look at the loony dickhead in the glass cage.

(A proverbial ‘glass cage’, of course. Actually, I live in a very nice plastic kennel. If only ‘loony’ and ‘dickhead’ could be proverbial, too… *sigh*)

I composed my 100th post a while back, soon after completing my 100 Things Posts About Me. And I recently welcomed my 5000th visitor to the site.

(And mom said I’d never amount to anything — sheesh!)

‘But,’ I hear you saying, ‘what’s it all mean? What’s this place about, anyway?‘ Well, I’m glad you asked. (You could have asked more nicely, of course, but at least you asked. A rude, demanding question beats no question any day.) So, I’ll tell you about the ground rules I’ve laid out here for myself:

• There’s gonna be at least one post every day, whether the blog needs it or not. Gotta have a regular feeding schedule, you know.
• You’re pretty much guaranteed to have some swearing every day, too. Could be simple, like ‘hell’ or ‘shit’. Could be ridiculous, like ‘asstastic’ or ‘bumblefuckery’. What can I tell you? I’ve got no good excuse.
• Just about every post is about me somehow, or the trouble I get into, or the asshats I have to deal with every day. In other words, personal stuff. (Though not necessarily true stuff. Hoo boy.) Politics, news commentary, religion, and juicy Hollywood gossip are not the order of the day around here.
• The purpose of nearly every entry is to touch someone out there — really reach them — and ultimately make them spew coffee out their nose and onto their monitor. Hey, I’ll admit it — I giggle like a schoolgirl when I write some of this shit. I only ask that you do the same.
• There will at all times be twenty ‘Inspiration’ links (folks responsible for my warped condition), twenty ‘Best of’ links pointing to my old posts, twenty ‘About Me’ links from my 100 Things posts, and twenty ‘Giggly Blogs’ links to people who make me dribble OJ on my keyboard, or worse. The lists may rotate, but you’ll always find twenty in each. No more than twenty, no less. Why? Who the hell knows? Just go with it, all right?
• I’ll also have a list of ‘Friendly Folks’, who’ve done me the great honor of linking to my blog. Until and unless somebody really out there links me, I’ll say this — you link me, and I’ll link you back. And most of the people who have so far are really good, so I’ll probably end up reading your stuff, too. I still have a couple of keys that need some OJ stains, people.

That’s more or less it for the rules. Really, the blog’s just here to entertain. First me, and then you, if you like what I’m doing. (Man, it sounds an awful lot like sex when I put it that way.) So, I hope you like it, and you have as much fun reading it as I do writing it. Oh, and just in case you do — you might want to throw some paper towels down on your desk, or get one of those plastic protector doohickeys for your monitor screen. You never know when I might get lucky, and get you to reverse-snort your Sanka.

(That’s the best, man. Every time somebody reads this stuff and nostril-showers their desk or laughs out loud while the boss is listening, I get a little tingle. Not that kind of tingle, but still — a tingle. I just have to hope it’s not me doing it next. With all the work I’m putting off, I’m hangin’ on by a damned thread as it is. Yikes!)