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So That’s What I’ve Been Missing

My first-ever DVD purchase for myself came in yesterday.

(And no, that’s not ‘first-ever of the new year’, or ‘first-ever online’, or ‘first-ever that isn’t latex fetish midget porn’. I mean first ever.

Although, technically, I suppose it’s still all of those other things, too. Especially the ‘not latex fetish midget porn’ thing. ‘Cause it’s not. Really. They didn’t have any of that, so I ordered something else.)

It’s not the first DVD in our collection, of course. We’re not entirely backwards, folks. We’re not living in a cave, here, pooh-poohing technology and churning our own butter and shit like that. Please.

No, in fact, we’ve got a grand total of six DVDs in the house. Six. That’s right, ladies — we pimpin’. And just for the record, here they are:

• Harry Potter — the first DVD in the house, purchased for the wife’s birthday last year. Still in the original cellophane.
• Monty Python’s Flying Circus, seasons 1-3 on three discs, Christmas presents from my father-in-law. Still in the original cellophane, but soon to be watched and giggled at.
• Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail, another gift from the father-in-law, and only my favorite movie in the world. Unwrapped, but not yet watched. Where the fuck are my priorities?
• The Matrix, ordered on Amazon with a Christmas gift card from my parents. Arrived yesterday, unwrapped today, and the first DVD to actually make it into the player.

So there it is — we’ve lurched into the digital video age with three discs with stuff from the ’70s, a movie from the ’80s, and two flicks from the ’90s. DVDs have been around for what — eight, nine, twelve years? There are billions of the bastards out there — old people and kids and Belgians are watching the things every damned day, and we’ve managed to collect six. Oh-six. And not a single disc of shit from this millennium. Maybe we are Amish, after all.

Of course, being the raving techno-weenie I am, now I’m hooked. I popped The Matrix in today, and annoyed the hell of of my wife, zipping in and out of the menus, playing scenes with just the music, and then with dialogue, and then the commentary track, back and forth and over and over. I’m fairly sure she’s ready to tear me a set of those body-holes the people in the movie are sporting. Which is why I’m here now, telling you about it, instead of risking my delicate flesh with more digital wizardry. I may not be bright, people, but I know when the missus has had just about enough. And we’re rapidly approaching that point.

So maybe I’ll wait until she goes to bed to see what goodies are on the Holy Grail disc. Maybe I’ll even whip out her Potter DVD, and play with it, too. And now I’ve got a new toy to spend all sorts of money on. Damn, I love technology.

Oh, and by the by, in a rather ‘P.S.’ sort of way regarding yet another phenomenon that I’m way behind the curve on:

I was invited this week into the strange and wonderful world of GMail. I’ve set up an account there, specifically for this site (called, predictably enough, wherethehellwasi@gmail.com. All of your tasty comments will be copied over there now, and I’ve created an ‘Email Me’ link up there in the top left corner. Drop me a comment or an email, to let me know it’s working — you know, just to say ‘hi’, or send me lewd pics, or ask for a GMail account of your very own.

(Except that you’ve already got a GMail account, because everybody already has a GMail account. I’m the last person on the face of the planet who’s ever heard of a computer that didn’t have a GMail account. Still. Maybe you want a second account, or a third. I’ve got invites. Lemme know.)

Also, while I’m here and talking shop — I’ve been greedily playing around with the ‘traffic exchange’ sites that have been springing up since BlogExplosion began enjoying a fair amount of popularity. So far, that’s still the king, IMO, but if you’re interested, I’ve put links to a few others at the bottom of the right-hand sidebar. Check ’em out, if you’re into that sort of thing.

(And just in case you’re ‘into’ it, but also too lazy to scroll your ass down there, I’ll throw you text links to each, right here. Don’t say I never did you any favors, bub:

BlogExplosion

BlogCrowd

BlogClicker

BlogAzoo

All right, enough of this nonsense. I’ve got a DVD to watch, folks. Happy Saturday!