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I’m Here, I’m There, I’m Everywhere!

It’s time I let you in on a little secret. In the spirit of real names, full disclosure, and goofy personal photos, there’s something I really need to get off my chest:

You’re not the only one for me.

Now, don’t get angry. You — the reader, right here, on this site I’ve been slapping words onto for two and a half years, you — you’re special. You’re the sugar in my Cheerios, the cascade in my Guinness, the rolled-up sock stuffed down my pants to impress the ladies. I’d be lost without you. You’re the best.

But you’re not the only one. I’ve been writing… elsewhere.

“You’re the sugar in my Cheerios, the cascade in my Guinness, the rolled-up sock stuffed down my pants to impress the ladies.”

I was up-front about it when I started last spring. My comedienne friend Jenn hooked me up with a ‘contributor’ gig on the online zine ‘Zoiks!‘. Zoiks! had no archives, so when a new issue arrived, I lovingly carted the last issue’s bucket o’ words over here, for your perusal. It was a comfortable arrangement; we were all happy. No one complained about my shameless polylogy.

(For those of you coming late to the party, a search for Zoiks! should uncover those cross-posted articles.

And yes, I know the search result screen sucks bare naked white ass. It’s on my list. Please to be patient.)

After a while, Zoiks! went under. That ended my motormouth moonlighting for a while. But I was undeterred, and pledged to find a wider audience to annoy with my shenanigans. And I’ve done so, in a number of ways — article submissions, syndications, and exciting new partnerships. I’ve even created a page of my collaborations, soon to be available via the ‘Highlights’ menu.

But I would be remiss — remiss, I say! — if I didn’t give two such items special mention here. And so, I shall. Never let it be said that I’m supporting remission of any kind.

Firstly, I’d like to thank the good people at Issues Magazine (especially including a certain someone who stops by here from time to time), for running one of my pieces in their ‘Humor’ section this issue. This is their ‘Music Special’, and there’s lots of great stuff there — artist profiles, fiction, poetry, and much more. It’s definitely worth checking out.

(Sadly, my piece only vaguely fits in with the ‘music’ theme — it’s the bit about mangling a Hallmark card poem for my sweetie. But if they’ll have me back, I’ll fit in better next time, I promise!)

And second, I’m pleased to announce the kickoff of a new site of mine, entitled (most appropriately) ‘Dial ‘M’ for Moron‘. For a while, I’ll be populating it with posts and articles seen here and/or elsewhere. Sort of a greatest hits section of ‘goofball’ posts. Later — who knows? Exclusive content, custom features, audiovisual extravaganzas… you’ll have to tune in to find out. Many thanks to the fine and friendly folks at Big Blog Media for having me in their network and setting me up so nicely.

That’s all for now — have a look at those other sites, and check back for zany hijinx tomorrow. Right now, it’s Miller Guinness time. This weekend kicks off… now.