Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Bookmark
 FeedBurnerEmailTwitterFacebookAmazon
Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA



All Quotes
HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail

  |  

Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

The View from the ‘Chief’ Seats

On Friday, I called a man ‘chief’.

I don’t know what came over me. I’m not a ‘chief‘ kind of guy. There are all sorts of characters around — especially here in New England, it seems — who are comfortable calling perfect male strangers all sorts of clever names. You’ll get a lot of ‘kid‘ in these parts, the occasional ‘brutha‘, the odd ‘sport‘ or two, the personally perplexing ‘boss, and yes, once in a while, ‘chief‘.

But not from me. I’m strictly a meat-and-potatoes name-caller. I stick to ‘guy‘, ‘dude‘, ‘man‘, and maybe — if I’m feeling particularly frisky — ‘buddy‘. That’s it.

Until Friday. At approximately 1:15pm on Friday afternoon, I ‘chief‘-ed a man, for the first time. I feel like I’ve stepped over a line somehow. Or maybe onto a line. Whatever it is, it’s squishing between my toes now. Not so pleasant.

“At approximately 1:15pm on Friday afternoon, I ‘chief‘-ed a man, for the first time. I feel like I’ve stepped over a line somehow.”

So how did I become a ‘chief‘-er? I’m honestly not sure. It was a lunchtime like any other around my new office. There’s a little food court nearby, and I’ve slipped into a comfortable little routine in my brief time there. I always walk over to the burrito joint — they claim to prepare ‘healthy’ fake Mexican food, and the burritos beat the pantalones off the Subway across the aisle. On the other hand, they’re not exactly fast with their ‘fast food’. I suspect the staff mostly bags off for a siesta in the early afternoon, but I can’t confirm it. The girl at the counter won’t let me past the nacho station to see for myself. Damn my obviously gringo features.

But that’s okay. The long lag in landing lunch gives me a chance to walk over to the place that sells… um… well, honestly, I don’t know what kind of food they sell. But they’ve got bottles of soda that I can cart back to the office, which the burrito joint doesn’t offer. So while my carne is being asada-ed, I hop over for a soda. The guy there recognizes me now, and sometimes even has a bottle waiting for me. It’s a good deal. I tip him an extra fifty cents every day, and he pulls me out of line as soon as he sees me, no matter how long the line is. Everybody wins.

Still. Does that make him a ‘chief? My firstchief‘? Good grief.

But that’s what happened on Friday. With the lunch rush over, I moseyed down for a meal — and that bottle of Pepsi. When I went for my soda, he ribbed me for being late, I told him I’d try to do better next week, and then, as though I were looking on from a nearby table, I heard myself say:

Thanks, chief.

I still don’t know what compelled me to say it. He didn’t bat an eye — probably, around here, he gets ‘chief‘-ed three times an hour and double at lunchtime. But never by me — and now I wonder what’s coming next. Will I be ‘boss‘-ing people soon? Throwing ‘kid‘ around at the local watering hole? Calling the mailman ‘Sparky‘? Or ‘Scooter‘? Or ‘Sugarbuns‘?

I think maybe I should find a new soda guy. Either that, or a much hotter mail carrier. Otherwise, my name may soon be ‘mud‘.

Or ‘Loverdrawers‘. Jesus. The price I pay to get caffeine and junk mail.

Permalink  |  4 Comments



4 Responses to “The View from the ‘Chief’ Seats”

  1. Ananke says:

    You know you’re a man when you’ve chief-ed your first guy…..or something like that. ;-) And I would pay good money to see any man call the mailman “Sugarbuns.” LOL!!!!

  2. please! I once called someone a “hep-cat” (the ever-so dated term) from a decade I do not even belong to. I don’t know why? or how it happened, and to this day, I can’t stop saying … “Oh that guy, yeah, you should get to know him, he’s a cool cat”…and every time I say that, it is immediately followed by… “what the fuck did I just say…”

  3. rickn says:

    I think you could be a “Chuckles” or “Sunshine”. Really. ;-)

  4. Lori says:

    I use BOSS and they don’t seem to like it for some reason. Especially the time I introduced my former employer as “my old boss.” Okay, she’s not that old.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Highlights
Me on Film 'n' Stage:
  Drinkstorm Studios


Me on Science (silly):
  Secondhand SCIENCE


Me on Science (real):
  Meta Science News


Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon


Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Features
Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Cliche-O-Matic
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

Favorites
Banterist
...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
DeJENNerate
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Mitchieville
PCPPP
Scaryduck
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
TGNP
Unlikely Explanations

Archives
Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers
100Things
A Doofus Is Me
Articles 'n' Zines
Audience Participation
Awkward Conversations
Bits About Blogging
Bitter Old Man Rants
Blasts from My Past
Cars 'n' Drivers
Dog Drivel
Eek!Cards
Foodstuff Fluff
Fun with Words!
Googlicious!
Grooming Gaffes
Just Life
Loopy Lists
Making Fun of Jerks
Marketing Weenies
Married and a Moron
Miscellaneous Nonsense
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig
Sleep, and Lack Thereof
Standup
Tales from the Stage
Tasty Beverages
The Happy Homeowner
TV & Movies & Games, O My!
Uncategorized
Vacations 'n' Holidays
Weird for the Sake of Weird
Whither the Weather
Wicked Pissah Bahstan
Wide World o' Sports
Work, Work, Work
Zug

Heroes
Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Grover
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Plugs, Shameless
100 Best Humor Blogs | Healthy Moms Magazine

Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass

TopOfBlogs

HumorSource

Blogging Fusion Blog Directory

bloglovin

Top Blogs

 

Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner

[Subscribe]

RDF
RSS 2.0
Atom
Credits
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:
MovableType

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Mint Installation

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-15 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved