Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Bookmark
 FeedBurnerEmailTwitterFacebookAmazon
Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA



All Quotes
HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail

  |  

Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

Who’s the A-Hole, A-Hole?

Tonight marked the grand debut of the sketch comedy team Deli Juices. I may have mentioned — over and over and over — that some chums and I will be descending on ImprovBoston this Saturday night at 9:30pm for Sketch Cagematch (-ATCH!!! -ATCH!! -ATCH!).

Our troupe is called Deli Juices (don’t ask), and features Duke Kris Earle and Sir Winston Kidd, as well as yours truly. And tonight, as a warmup for our Satur-stravaganza, we debuted our material during Time Travel, Kris’ weekly radio romp on WMFO, the voice of Tufts University.

If you missed it — AND WHY IN HELL WOULD YOU MISS IT?!? — you can always check it out in the WMFO archive. I moseyed into the studio around 5:15, Winston joined about 6:15, and the airwaves were Deli Juiced at precisely 6:23.

You may want to give the airwaves a little time to recover before you listen to the radio again. They’ll need a long hot shower, at the very least.

Also, I owe the FCC twenty bucks. Or a first-born child or something. Who knows what’s going to satisfy a bunch of snarky feds?

“It’s just possible that public college-affiliated radio is not perhaps the ideal medium for some of our material.”

Anyway, as we convened in the studio, we reminded each other of the strict and necessary rules while speaking on the air. Mild oaths are all right. Minor swears. Eensy pottymouths. But nothing major. Not the big seven. We’ve got no budget for fines, nor a bunch of real-time *bleepers* to cover our butts. We’re not the Daily Show over here.

For a lot of sketch outfits, this is maybe not a problem. We’re not one of those outfits. We have six sketches in the show. Sketch five is titled — titled, mind you, not “informally known as” or “containing the line”, but actually physically titled — “What the Fuck Are You Looking At?”

Clearly, we were in some trouble here. It’s just possible that public college-affiliated radio is not perhaps the ideal medium for some of our material. In retrospect, I’m saying. It’s possible.

So we went over the rules — no ‘eff‘s, no ‘shi tzus‘, no ‘d-bags‘, ‘a-holes‘ or ‘pusballs‘.

Or rather, only those things, and not the scandalous wash-your-mic-out-wiht-soap words that they replace. We talked it over. We all understood. Sketch five was going to be a problem, sure, but we’d get through it when the time came. And until then, so far as we could remember, we didn’t have a lot of swears to worry about. Fine. We got it. Go time.

Two minutes into sketch one, we’re rolling along fine. I sailed through the middle of a three-sentence line and finished it off, as always, with:

So I’ve dealt with a lot of assholes.

I don’t know where it came from. I don’t. I’ve never had an asshole just pop out of the woodwork like that. I plan my assholes, as a rule, and — like most people — I don’t especially enjoy being surprised by a rogue asshole in the middle of an important conversation. Especially not when it’s crawling out of my mouth.

Or into it, for that matter. But that’s another story, probably.

We made it through the rest of the stuff — yes, even sketch five — without further sullying of the public earspace, It wasn’t easy, but we managed. And maybe they even bleeped that gaffe of mine in the archive; I haven’t had a chance to listen yet. I just know it was a rocky start, but the surrounding Medford / Somerville listening area can sleep easier tonight, knowing that the first snippet of on-air potty talk was also our last.

However.

That doesn’t mean we’re taking it easy on Cambridge. That studio there is a private, closed, buy-a-ticket-to-get-in joint. There are no rules on what you can say and not say. So while I thank Kris for his airtime and hospitality, and greatly enjoyed tonight’s rehearsal exercise, I can also tell you this:

There are going to be some assholes flying around Central Square this Saturday evening. And that’s not all. There’s also sketch five. You know the one I’m talking about.

Oh, yeah. Come and see that, kiddos. And leave your *BLEEP*ing *BLEEP* *BLEEP*ers in the *BLEEP*ing nursery, junior.

It’s GO time.

Permalink  |  1 Comment



One Response to “Who’s the A-Hole, A-Hole?”

  1. ema says:

    Tried doc, not available at your link. Also, do you really want me to buy it? Who do you think I am, an a-hole? I don’t even qualify as a b-hole.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Highlights
Me on Film 'n' Stage:
  Drinkstorm Studios


Me on Science (silly):
  Secondhand SCIENCE


Me on Science (real):
  Meta Science News


Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon


Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Features
Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Cliche-O-Matic
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

Favorites
Banterist
...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
DeJENNerate
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Mitchieville
PCPPP
Scaryduck
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
TGNP
Unlikely Explanations

Archives
Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers
100Things
A Doofus Is Me
Articles 'n' Zines
Audience Participation
Awkward Conversations
Bits About Blogging
Bitter Old Man Rants
Blasts from My Past
Cars 'n' Drivers
Dog Drivel
Eek!Cards
Foodstuff Fluff
Fun with Words!
Googlicious!
Grooming Gaffes
Just Life
Loopy Lists
Making Fun of Jerks
Marketing Weenies
Married and a Moron
Miscellaneous Nonsense
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig
Sleep, and Lack Thereof
Standup
Tales from the Stage
Tasty Beverages
The Happy Homeowner
TV & Movies & Games, O My!
Uncategorized
Vacations 'n' Holidays
Weird for the Sake of Weird
Whither the Weather
Wicked Pissah Bahstan
Wide World o' Sports
Work, Work, Work
Zug

Heroes
Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Grover
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Plugs, Shameless
100 Best Humor Blogs | Healthy Moms Magazine

HumorSource

 

Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner

[Subscribe]

RDF
RSS 2.0
Atom
Credits
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:
MovableType

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-15 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved